if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
