i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
