Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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