I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
