I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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