Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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