Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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