have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
