it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
