I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
