The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
