is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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