Christians are straight up FREAKS
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
