Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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