We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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