I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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