I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
