Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
nutella sex= disaster
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
