we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
