so that wasnt chicken after all
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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