fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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