I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
