i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
