the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize