I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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