the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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