This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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