The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
