i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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