you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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