You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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