I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
