Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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