and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
