The best revenge is premature balding
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
