so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize