is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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