i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
