Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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