Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize