I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
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I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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