I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
