I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
