Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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