Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
