i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
