My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
