dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
