Your face is a jimmy john
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
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