Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
