I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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