My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
