Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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