We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize