This is not my ceiling
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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