Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
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there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
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Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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