i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
