She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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