cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
