The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize