Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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